Start With a Clean Plate

At La Muse – 5:30 PM

I have jotted down a ton of ideas and thoughts in my journal today. I have looked up definitions and read articles on different websites. I have asked a few of my Muser cohorts questions – I even emailed a doctor a question after reading an article he wrote on water. Yet, I am struggling to sit down and simply write. I am struggling to sit down and write something – anything -  on a fresh sheet of paper (or on a squeaky-clean Word doc, if a Word doc can be squeaky clean). I have too much in my head, and everything’s jumbled.

Give me a moment.

I just sat quietly and breathed (that’s what that extra space was above). And then I said my own version of the “Set-Aside Prayer” in accordance with my writing.

I actually do feel a bit calmer and a little bit more focused – and open. Open to simply writing and seeing what comes.

Perhaps I am just trying too hard to make connections, to come up with the best way to start, to write in order. I merely need to write. Isn’t that why I started the blog? Just like I wrote my thesis: I just wrote what was going on and collected thoughts, inspiration, experiences, information. Why does that seem so difficult now?

So, one (of the many) thought(s) I had today was about Beginner’s Mind: 

Shoshin, as it is called in Japanese Zen Buddhism:

The goal of practice is always to keep our beginner's mind…the most important thing is not to be dualistic. Our ‘original mind’ includes everything within itself. It is always rich and sufficient within itself. You should not lose your self-sufficient state of mind. This doesn't mean a closed mind, but actually an empty mind and a ready mind. If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything. In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few. – Shunryu Suzuki

We have a prayer for that in AA - The Set-Aside Prayer:

God, help me set aside everything I think I know about myself, my disease, the Twelve Steps, and especially YOU; so I may have an open mind and a new experience about these things. Please let me see the truth.

This is what I was referring to above. I changed the words around when I sat down to write:

“God, help me set aside what I think I know about writing, about writing my book, what I even think I know about Before Breakfast (with Nicky), and especially what I know about you, dear God, so that I may have a new experience, and get closer to the truth.”

It’s okay, dear Reader, if you do not believe in God. I am not always sure what I mean when I use the word, to tell you the truth. It is just a simple way for me to express what I mean when I put things out there to the Universe – a power greater than myself, a trusting force, a connective sub-conscious. Three letters are shorter than eight and easier to say than explain.

Author, Jeffrey Eugenides explains, “You begin always knowing nothing. You remain forever an amateur, a first timer.”

So to maintain a “Beginner’s Mind,” one needs to remain open, curious, teachable; humble. And in order to begin writing my book, I need to start anew; be a novice about writing, about my subject matter. And when inviting people to read it and perhaps embark on a new way of thinking, of living, of doing, I would like to encourage them to do the same.

“Oh, I’ve read books on creativity…writer’s block…burn out…diet…getting healthy…blah-de-blah-de-blah…,” a potential reader might think or say. And I would encourage gently and invitingly (like any good maître d at a restaurant), “We have an open table, with a clean plate waiting just for you. Perhaps you would like to peruse the menu and see if there is something you would like to try?”